Andrew Biesen- Chicago Actor, Producer, and professional hiker

Dear Andrew Ryan Biesen, it is with a wobbling trembling lip I finally put the pen to the paper to write this.. It was after so many years that I avoided looking at this vacation, remembering these moments, and reading over what you penned to me that passion was. Andrew, you were absolutely everything about the passion for the jobs we enjoyed and I wish you'd been able to see it in yourself more often while you were with us.

Andrew, thank you for telling me the story of some of the greatest photos I've ever looked back and both laughed and cried on. Thank you for teaching every one around you to fully enjoy life while you searched for the thrill of "What will I love as much as this?"

To answer your question, our only photos of us are the ones I never hesitate to smile, when I see.

Thank you for teaching me not to be afraid of heights.

For knowing how to look at me like I was the only girl in the room.

For affectionately and meaningly calling me "poodle head", a name for years I had rolled my eyes at, but now understanding the depths of air, and learning to exercise.. learning to love the afternoon hikes.. and the early mornings...

Andrew, you were my best friend. Thank you for finding a way to bring the thrill of every city home to Chicago, the way only you could. I also enjoyed every boat ride, every time I paid for the drinks, and you paid for the cab. Thank you for letting me sing Amy Winehouse to you at the top of my lungs and for actually making me laugh.

I'll never forget finally getting to lean back and sit with you and say "Thank goodness we're home."

Rest forever, sweetheart.

This was about the time I realized her management idea was right. I needed to supply my clients with physical and social guidance through the process of on camera performances by charging a fee instead since the percentages/cost just didn’t make sense for me. This was a girl who believed I should push harder for my management company and take on more clients… I know this next part is extremely odd to say but this when I realized:

“Shit I think I love her”

And that’s where it all started to go crazy on me. I realized that this was the first person I cared so much about in my life that I need to try and figure out what we are. The word Polyamorous always creeps back up when I think about what we are and what we were. What is her definition? Was I one of many? Am I okay with that? How do I handle my next trip away?
- Andrew Biesen's Last Penned Thoughts to me, September 2017.


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